The perfect jester

Motto: you have mocked everything but the fever

Among all characters and faces you turned out to be the jester
The-one-without-a face

Your irony gobbled all kinds of stuff
The acid of remorse, the perfume of the lie, the narcotic of rage
The pus drained from the neighbor’s happiness
The stench of the quotidian paradise
Until you fell, intoxicated,
Into a deep sleep
Into a deep melancholy

This is what happens to all jesters when they get old and tired
They cease dreaming on lustfully biting from the flesh of encounters
They are not amused anymore to plant fake bombs into the heroes’ yards
They want but a face
No matter how dirty, how ugly, how sulky

You tell yourself, with no conviction:”we are all comedians
We all take on a part or another, nobody is entirely and definitely someone
Fantasy is the seed of wisdom and truth”
But your irony sticks its teeth, like a hungry wolf,
Into your pathetic attempt of self consolation

“I’m an old jester that children stopped laughing at
That pisses off nobody anymore”
“When you’re nobody, you can fool around as much as you want”
You try to delude yourself
But you cannot take seriously any single thought
Because you are the Jester

Instead of the gold of the world you have chosen desire
You have chosen the yearning
Or maybe you didn’t have the choice
You mocked everything but fever

You wish you could wrap your heart into the warmth of a body
Or to wrap your body into the warmth of a heart
You lurk for a warm breath that could blow away the darkness
For someone up to tell you: I know you, I know who you are:
“a little boy scared of men and of their manhood”
You wish you had an angel to bring back to you
The shyness
The fear
The longing
The last memory of yourself
Without the jester’s costume

Here comes the scene when I find you, broken down, in a ditch at the end of the world
And I hold your hand tight
With complicity
I smile to you
And I say:
I can love you although I don’t know who you are
I can love you even if I don’t know who I am, for real

contrast

We don’t need any face for what you want
Don’t you get it?

 

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